Lunching with my First bestie

Cousin Linda, Debbie & me/Lake Ahquabi

For as far back as I can remember, my cousin, Debbie, was in my life.  Not just as my cousin, but as my bestie!  I really can't think of too many times that an event for either of us was not shared. 

Of course, the daily ying and yang of life occurred away from each other, but, the monumental events:  Christmas, Easter, birthdays, stay overs, and even some vacations and such, included each other.

On a whim, I called and asked her to lunch yesterday, after seeing on Facebook, that she was on vacation from work.  I'm so glad I did.  Even today, our lives are intertwined and we continue to share some of the same events life has to offer. 

As little girls, we played little girl games.  We stayed over at Grandma's house together, stayed up all night playing games, giggling and in our teens, making calls to teen lines.  I witnessed her driving the mini bike into the fence and she stood up with me getting married(the 1st time).  I think we fell off Lucky, the pony together and were teased incessantly by our uncle Jack and Jerry.  I think Debbie was tormented by "bugs" and me, I screamed "icky acky"as I was placed in amongst a pasture of horse manure. 

Debbie's parents belonged to a camping group and I was often invited to go along on these camping events.  These were some of the best times of my childhood.  Teen dances...man, what a treat!  The venue would be crowded with 13, 14, 15 year olds.  Dancing 'til we couldn't dance no more...or, maybe the music stopped.  I can't really remember.  All I remember is that is was FUN!

During this same time frame, Debbie would come and stay overnight.  Time and again.  And, time and again, it seemed something strange would happen.  Ummmm, for instance, we were awakened by lights flashing and cops knocking at our door when our car was stolen, tornadoes hit, a man was found in our ditch passed.  She thought of herself as a "jinx".  It was very strange.

One Easter she spent the night with us.  We were up after the Easter Bunny made an appearance.  I can remember we were playing some game on the kitchen floor and one of us saw an Easter Egg that had been hidden.  Well, we started looking and finding and of course, eating them. 

We had our children together.  I babysat for her and her for me.  We shared the deaths of our grandparents and an aunt together.  Although our lives somewhat went their separate ways, I know my love for her never did!  I knew I'd always be there for her if she needed it and her me.  Yesterday was just one of those days.  She didn't really know it, but I'm glad it worked out.  I needed a little "cousin time."  Being one to believe that things work out the way the are supposed to, I found that, once again, the stars aligned again for me when I needed it.

After all, who else shares the same stories as you do.  The same order or understanding of events; a timeline that curves and sways in and out of life's moments together, more than a family member.  For me, it was my cousin, Debbie.  We entertained at the Polk County home with my church...we STILL can do the motions to Put Your Hand in the Hand of the Man Who Stills the Waters, Deep and Wide and others.  And, let me tell you, it's not beyond us to step into those motions and song with even a mention of those times.  Christmas Pageants...memorizing our verses.  Selling "goods" to raise money to go to church camp. 

As we hit our fifties together...one before the other, but I won't mention details, we found ourselves still in sync with each other.  Yesterday's topics:  menopause and grandchildren.  We have gracefully moved into the next phase of our lives.  It's a most interesting time for sure. 

There are many other moments, events, ups and downs.  I'll save them in my memory bank and bring them out at another time. 

For now, for as far back as I can remember, my cousin, Debbie, was in my life. Not just as my cousin, but as my bestie! I really can't think of too many times that an event for either of us was not shared...

Don't Hog Your Journey...



My cousins, lil sis and me, circa 1968...
we're each a part of the others journey



"Don't hog your journey, it's not just for you." As I was listening to the Today show while working, Hoda Kotb was sharing a story. While on a plane, she was visiting with the gentleman sitting beside her. Chit-chatting away, she had mentioned she had had breast cancer. She asked him not to think of that if he ever thought of her in the future. He turned to her and said, "Don't hog your journey, it's not just for you." I kept thinking of that statement and have decided that I agree with it. What if no one ever shared their story~their journey...good or bad. My world would certainly not be as rich and full as it is now. I would not know of another's happiness, adventures, struggles. I would not be who I am today without knowing of another's journey.

Hoda's story is great, and deep, and more than just her breast cancer...for sure! We are all more than just one part. We are, shall we say, the sum of all our parts. I am a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter an entrepreneur...the list goes on and on. But, it's the sum of all of these things that makes me who I am today. I enjoy sharing my journey...it gives me great pleasure and I hope it adds to your journey, too.


The other day, I stopped by the "Music in the Park" event held at the city park in town. In amongst the music...which was very enjoyable, I heard someone get up and give a testimonial. I wonder, did his journey make a difference to someone else in the crowd. It did mine and I'm sure another's. Then I have to think...what if he didn't share his "journey"? What if he kept it to himself...I would not have known the depth of his story...his courage in sharing it. It has stuck with me...and, it removed me from my cares and woes and opened my mind, my heart, to another's struggles and triumphs.


Life is a Journey, isn't it? Sometimes we're on a mountain, sometimes we're in a valley. Most of the time, I'd guess we're just motating along on the plaines. Enjoying life, taking one day at a time, doing what needs to be done and just cruising along. To me, it's the mountains and valleys that we grow the most. We are pushed to our limit, only to find our limit can be pushed. We read something or hear of someone else's journey and we gain strength from it. We realize we're not alone. Somehow, we come out on the other side because of it...but don't necassarily understand where it came from. What if no one shared their journey? Who would be a better, stronger, wiser person because of your journey? Maybe your journey is told by your actions. How you reach out to your community members, volunteering, donating, a struggle overcome. Our journey's are shared in many different ways. The key is that it's shared.


"Don't hog your journey, it's not just for you." I would not be who I am today without knowing of another's journey. And this folks, is the view from my front porch.


Beth Voltmer lives on a farm in rural New Virginia

What does it mean to be a grandmother?

I love every inch of her!  From her head to her sweet toes; to her teeny, tiny and delicate fingernails.  She's beautiful, she's sweet, she's a very happy little girl.  She makes my heart swell with happiness and so much love!  She inspires me to be BETTER!

Overnight, she went from a 'needing' baby to a toddler...what is that one moment when they take that step and feel confident enough to take another and then another...soon, she'll be running!  Then, before we know it, she'll be walking down the aisle...to graduation from high school, college...marriage.  I know, I know...there's so much life in between, but having been through raising three children of my own, I look back, and it seems like it was just yesterday, they were 'needing' babies, then in school, then graduating...

As I was driving home last evening, listening to Dahlilia, a woman was requesting a song for what it's like to be a grandmother.  To Dahlilia's knowledge, there wasn't one.  It got me to thinking; what would this song say?  What is it about being a grandmother that seems so different from being a mother? How do I feel about being a grandmother?  How do you feel about it...what words would you use to describe it?  Are you inspired to be better?  

One thing that happened upon becoming a grandmother, is it put into perspective how it felt to my mom, my ex-mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, my grandmother and my great.  The 'silly' (my perception) things they did or the things they said, that kind of made me mad, I find I do and I understand completely.  I say to Makenna, "how's grammy's girl?"  A similar sentiment was said to my oldest daughter, Courtney, "How's grandma's dolly" and it would put me in a tail spin...now, I understand the love, the pride, the intense feelings behind those words.  It has more to do with the love for this little being, than it does 'ownership'.  I understand now!  Oh, how I understand!

I'm also reminded of all the things from my childhood that are now special thoughts, special memories; I find I want to replicate that for my little granddaughter.  Tea parties, aunts and uncles and cousins all around...all the time.  I want her to know her Great grandma and have the same close relationship with he,r that I had with my grandma Grace.  I want to plant a garden with her and see her expressions at seeing it come to life. Camping and picnics, fishing at the pond.  Making dolls with flowers and making flowers with tissue.  Letting her concoct in the kitchen.  I want to share it all with her, and with each new day or time spent with her, I'm reminded of something new.  I'm inspired to be better.

To see the world through her eyes,- is a reawakening in me.  To see a bug and watch it crawl along.  Will she be as thrilled with doing that as her daddy was?  I want to teach her to read, and to enjoy the small things in life.  I want to sew little girl outfits again.  I enjoy seeing her little face change.  More hair and another tooth change her whole look each time I see her.  To hear her giggle...I especially love to hear her giggle.  Her eyes light up, she's just plain silly! Makenna does this little thing...she shrugs her shoulders and it's so darn cute.  She also scrunches her face up, seeming to say, "I'm cute" and she is.  She watches our every move...she's quick, she's alert...well, you know, she's just plain brilliant...there it is, I said it and I've written it. 

The toy aisles...I've always hated the toy aisles...not so much anymore.  I look at Barbie dolls and baby dolls.  Will she be a girly-girl...so far,  she kinda is.  But, I find I want to buy her farm animals and barns, too.  Play-doh, and sidewalk chalk...or, just a plain old limestone rock would do.  Then again, I'm reminded of pots and pans to clang around on.  Dandelions under the chin and Mother Goose stories.  I sing her the songs my children's grandmother's sang them.  "You are my sunshine", "Bushel and a Peck".  Finger games:  Fly away Jack, itsy bitsy spider, and more.  I want her to know the songs and stories of Jesus.  She needs to know these things, I think...I know!  I want to make sure she knows these things.  I'm inspired to be better.

To snuggle and cuddle.  To have her reach around my neck and pull me close in a hug...oh~my~gosh!  An overwhelming sense of love can take over my heart...sometimes I want to cry, I love her so much...so much that it hurts my heart.  

Each and every day, many moments in my day, I think of Grammie's Girl and I miss her.  I want to see her.  I want to be all I can be for her and to her.  I want to be a better person, I want to be a better mom,  I want to be more alive and in the moment.  Makenna inspires me to BE all these things.  I love her!