Don't Hog Your Journey...



My cousins, lil sis and me, circa 1968...
we're each a part of the others journey



"Don't hog your journey, it's not just for you." As I was listening to the Today show while working, Hoda Kotb was sharing a story. While on a plane, she was visiting with the gentleman sitting beside her. Chit-chatting away, she had mentioned she had had breast cancer. She asked him not to think of that if he ever thought of her in the future. He turned to her and said, "Don't hog your journey, it's not just for you." I kept thinking of that statement and have decided that I agree with it. What if no one ever shared their story~their journey...good or bad. My world would certainly not be as rich and full as it is now. I would not know of another's happiness, adventures, struggles. I would not be who I am today without knowing of another's journey.

Hoda's story is great, and deep, and more than just her breast cancer...for sure! We are all more than just one part. We are, shall we say, the sum of all our parts. I am a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter an entrepreneur...the list goes on and on. But, it's the sum of all of these things that makes me who I am today. I enjoy sharing my journey...it gives me great pleasure and I hope it adds to your journey, too.


The other day, I stopped by the "Music in the Park" event held at the city park in town. In amongst the music...which was very enjoyable, I heard someone get up and give a testimonial. I wonder, did his journey make a difference to someone else in the crowd. It did mine and I'm sure another's. Then I have to think...what if he didn't share his "journey"? What if he kept it to himself...I would not have known the depth of his story...his courage in sharing it. It has stuck with me...and, it removed me from my cares and woes and opened my mind, my heart, to another's struggles and triumphs.


Life is a Journey, isn't it? Sometimes we're on a mountain, sometimes we're in a valley. Most of the time, I'd guess we're just motating along on the plaines. Enjoying life, taking one day at a time, doing what needs to be done and just cruising along. To me, it's the mountains and valleys that we grow the most. We are pushed to our limit, only to find our limit can be pushed. We read something or hear of someone else's journey and we gain strength from it. We realize we're not alone. Somehow, we come out on the other side because of it...but don't necassarily understand where it came from. What if no one shared their journey? Who would be a better, stronger, wiser person because of your journey? Maybe your journey is told by your actions. How you reach out to your community members, volunteering, donating, a struggle overcome. Our journey's are shared in many different ways. The key is that it's shared.


"Don't hog your journey, it's not just for you." I would not be who I am today without knowing of another's journey. And this folks, is the view from my front porch.


Beth Voltmer lives on a farm in rural New Virginia

Learning to peel...Grandma Grace style

I was peeling apple upon apple yesterday, readying them for an apple cake I was making.  As I started, knife poised just under the flesh, I was distinctly reminded of the time (in my early years of homekeeping) when I was peeling potatoes under the careful watch of my Grandma Grace.  Not knowing I wasn't doing it correctly, she quickly pointed out that I was wasting too much of the potato.  She showed me how to do it.  She'd be proud of me today.  I can peel a potato, apple, pear...whatever it may be, with the best of them.

It does take practice...this peeling.  Sliding the knife just under the flesh and peeling away the colorful top layer, leaving behind as much of the meat of the fruit or vegtable as you possibly can.  My other goal is to peel the fruit with one swell swoop.  No starts and stops.  I find that I point this same thing out to others at times, too.  I want them to be as proficient as they can be.  Not to waste anything so precious.

I think, my memories of my Grandma are most vivid and alive while I'm in the kitchen.  I can still see her in her kitchen now...21 years after she's passed.  A strong, sturdy woman.  Seems she was in her kitchen all the time.  That's where I remember her most.  It wasn't a big kitchen.  But, somehow, she managed and fed her brood of seven quite sufficiently from it.  There certainly was not a multitude of cabinets, nor counter space.  A very humble kitchen, to say the least.  A very humble home over all.  I loved it there. 

She was a great cook and a very generous lady.  She always seemed to have plenty for whomever was there.  No guest was "one too many".  Never an invitation only household...somehow, we all gathered there.  And, I do mean "we".  It may not have been the same "we" every Saturday, but there were plenty of us.  Saturday nights were hamburger night.  I can see her mixing the hamburger meat and it never failed, she always took one bite of the raw meat, spiced with salt and pepper, only.  Still  makes me gag.  I don't remember anything else being put in it.  I remember that, every single time I make a hamburger patty.  Funny what sticks with you, isn't it? 

Sundays, too, brought another set of "we's" and some of the same from the night before.  It was "just the place to be."  WE all loved it there.  And, WE all miss it terribly, even to this day. 

Right before my Grandma got really bad with her cancer, she came to spend a week with me.  I will forever treasure that time.  She seemed to have gained strength that week.  I wanted to her to show me how to make her vegatable stew, which she did.  Our cherry trees were heavy laden with fruit.  I wanted to learn how to make pie.  She happily obliged.  She rolled out the dough for the crust with every ounce of energy she could muster.  It just came from somewhere.  Maybe we both knew...if I were to learn this from her, and she to show me how, it was right then, or never.  She passed just a few weeks after I had her at my home.  It was one of my greatest accomplishments...to care for her like she had me for so many years.

She tired, but did not quit.  She sat down at my table and started working those cherries over.  De-pitting and de-stemming.  Before we knew it, we had cherry juice all over...and, I do mean all over.  I think we must have been so busy talking and cherishing that moment, we weren't really engaged in what we were doing.  It took me awhile to get that cherry juice cleaned up.  It was blissful!  I miss her every single day! 

She was a generous lady and no guest was ever "one too many".  Never a "by invitation only" household.  I learned from her.  She was my mentor.  She is my mentor...she's with me every day and I miss her!  And this folks, is the view from my front porch.

What does it mean to be a grandmother?

I love every inch of her!  From her head to her sweet toes; to her teeny, tiny and delicate fingernails.  She's beautiful, she's sweet, she's a very happy little girl.  She makes my heart swell with happiness and so much love!  She inspires me to be BETTER!

Overnight, she went from a 'needing' baby to a toddler...what is that one moment when they take that step and feel confident enough to take another and then another...soon, she'll be running!  Then, before we know it, she'll be walking down the aisle...to graduation from high school, college...marriage.  I know, I know...there's so much life in between, but having been through raising three children of my own, I look back, and it seems like it was just yesterday, they were 'needing' babies, then in school, then graduating...

As I was driving home last evening, listening to Dahlilia, a woman was requesting a song for what it's like to be a grandmother.  To Dahlilia's knowledge, there wasn't one.  It got me to thinking; what would this song say?  What is it about being a grandmother that seems so different from being a mother? How do I feel about being a grandmother?  How do you feel about it...what words would you use to describe it?  Are you inspired to be better?  

One thing that happened upon becoming a grandmother, is it put into perspective how it felt to my mom, my ex-mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, my grandmother and my great.  The 'silly' (my perception) things they did or the things they said, that kind of made me mad, I find I do and I understand completely.  I say to Makenna, "how's grammy's girl?"  A similar sentiment was said to my oldest daughter, Courtney, "How's grandma's dolly" and it would put me in a tail spin...now, I understand the love, the pride, the intense feelings behind those words.  It has more to do with the love for this little being, than it does 'ownership'.  I understand now!  Oh, how I understand!

I'm also reminded of all the things from my childhood that are now special thoughts, special memories; I find I want to replicate that for my little granddaughter.  Tea parties, aunts and uncles and cousins all around...all the time.  I want her to know her Great grandma and have the same close relationship with he,r that I had with my grandma Grace.  I want to plant a garden with her and see her expressions at seeing it come to life. Camping and picnics, fishing at the pond.  Making dolls with flowers and making flowers with tissue.  Letting her concoct in the kitchen.  I want to share it all with her, and with each new day or time spent with her, I'm reminded of something new.  I'm inspired to be better.

To see the world through her eyes,- is a reawakening in me.  To see a bug and watch it crawl along.  Will she be as thrilled with doing that as her daddy was?  I want to teach her to read, and to enjoy the small things in life.  I want to sew little girl outfits again.  I enjoy seeing her little face change.  More hair and another tooth change her whole look each time I see her.  To hear her giggle...I especially love to hear her giggle.  Her eyes light up, she's just plain silly! Makenna does this little thing...she shrugs her shoulders and it's so darn cute.  She also scrunches her face up, seeming to say, "I'm cute" and she is.  She watches our every move...she's quick, she's alert...well, you know, she's just plain brilliant...there it is, I said it and I've written it. 

The toy aisles...I've always hated the toy aisles...not so much anymore.  I look at Barbie dolls and baby dolls.  Will she be a girly-girl...so far,  she kinda is.  But, I find I want to buy her farm animals and barns, too.  Play-doh, and sidewalk chalk...or, just a plain old limestone rock would do.  Then again, I'm reminded of pots and pans to clang around on.  Dandelions under the chin and Mother Goose stories.  I sing her the songs my children's grandmother's sang them.  "You are my sunshine", "Bushel and a Peck".  Finger games:  Fly away Jack, itsy bitsy spider, and more.  I want her to know the songs and stories of Jesus.  She needs to know these things, I think...I know!  I want to make sure she knows these things.  I'm inspired to be better.

To snuggle and cuddle.  To have her reach around my neck and pull me close in a hug...oh~my~gosh!  An overwhelming sense of love can take over my heart...sometimes I want to cry, I love her so much...so much that it hurts my heart.  

Each and every day, many moments in my day, I think of Grammie's Girl and I miss her.  I want to see her.  I want to be all I can be for her and to her.  I want to be a better person, I want to be a better mom,  I want to be more alive and in the moment.  Makenna inspires me to BE all these things.  I love her!