Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Fulfill your dream...it's the joureny that gets you there.

The other day I was chatting with a friend who's husband was in ministry and decided to close it down...he had a church.  She said he was still a bit disappointed and felt unsuccessful.  I understand, I've had a few unsuccessful go a rounds myself.  But, you know what, I've learned to accept those "failures" as stepping stones to what really does work for me.  I've grown and discovered what I like and more importantly, what I don't like on my journey.  Which, it's the journey after all, that gets you to where you're supposed to be.

It's true, you know!  We all have dreams and very few of us even attempt to try fulfilling them.  How many people do we know that are too terrified to even take one small step into the direction of their dreams.  Just to even try is success to me.  

There is a lot that goes into having a business.  Over and above the financial side of things, there's the time commitment, which turned out to be my demise.  I loved the idea of having my own shop.  I tried it in New Virginia, then moved to Indianola (which was the icing on the cake for me).  However, I learned quickly that running a shop full time is not for me.  I don't enjoy being confined to a set schedule.  I just don't operate that way.  

I discovered, it's the hunting, gathering and repurposing that I really, really dig!  Had I not tried the other, I wouldn't have known.  The longing to have my own shop would continue to override my thoughts.  I had to try it to get it out of my system.

Once I closed, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.  I tried having two booths at two different antique malls. It started out great, but overall, just did not fit for me. So, I'm committing to doing shows this summer, once a month.  I'll camp during the show at my spot...another love of mine.  It'll be a fun get away for me, combining the things I love.  I'll have no t.v., but I'll have my writing, reading and dreaming with me. 

I also found a sweet little shop in Winterset...an occassional sale; open once a month, that seems to fit my "personality".  

It's all good.  If you don't try, you'll  never know.  If you don't try, you'll never get that "dream" out of your system.  And, there are many, many ways to fulfill your dream...it's in the journey that gets you there.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Crossing the Great Divide Part II

“Disparate treatment leads to disparate impact.”

In an earlier post, I started with the above quote.  I said I would get back to it in my next post...I fibbed.  I wrote another post in-between and it's been more than a few weeks since I did that.  

Since I wrote part I, on this subject, another young black man has died at the hands of the police. This time, it happened in Baltimore, Maryland.  This, too, has triggered riots and racial discord.  The six policemen involved have been charged with homicide.  Time will tell if a jury finds them guilty, but for now, the investigation has found them worthy of being held accountable for their actions.  A step in the right direction.

It feels, to me, like an uprising.  A revolution.  A time that we must all evaluate just how we, personally, contribute to the racial discord...intentionally or unintentionally.  

Let me just say that, I, in no way, shape or form condone the rioting.  I guess, "two wrongs don't make it right" applies for me here.  I also don't believe that most anyone does.  Black, white, pink or purple.  With that said, as I continue my path of "Crossing the Great Divide", I'm willing to look at and consider my contribution, and most definitely not an intentional one, to the situation.  I invite you to take this path with me...

When this all first came about, last August, 2014, and as I wrote about in my first blog post on this subject, I took a step which involved having a discussion with a black man.  I wanted a better understanding and a different perspective.  After all, aren't most opinions and biases based on our own personal experiences...albeit it, perspectives.

When I sat down with Pastor B, a youth minister at the church we're going to, he explained to me the black person's plight, and I would bet, most generally speaking, the black man's plight.  This is when he used the term, “Disparate treatment leads to disparate impact.”  I had to have him explain it to me.  This is what he said, 

"Disparate treatment is when you have people experiencing the same or similar situations but consistently receiving different or unequal treatments.

Disparate impact is the results of disparate treatment.  The impact of continual disproportionate treatment. How that treatment has effected people."

These two terms are important and have really stuck with me.  I think they are worthy of everyone's consideration and something to remember...in all our life experiences.  Here's a loosely based analogy.

Let's look at the hot topic within our schools; BULLYING.  A person gets singled out, time and again, for whatever reason.  Let's say it happened to his father and to his father before him.  They had the same tendencies, personality traits, their walk of life never had changed, generation to generation.  The grandfather was bullied, the father was bullied and so is the son. 

After awhile, it plays on their psyche.  Their confidence.  Who they are and how they feel about themselves.  It's constant and relentless behavior on the part of the ones doing the bullying.  The conversations in the home are ones of defeat, poor image, self doubt.  No one stands up to the bullying...no one comes to the rescue.  Because of the way they have been treated, time and again, the results are how it has effected the family.

To me, this is what is happening in the black community.  In easy terms, there has been a lifetime of bullying.  That lifetime of bullying has reached it's pressure point and we see it in the "acting out" of their frustrations, anger, disappointments and struggles.  No, I don't get it!  But, I never will...it's not my journey.  But, I can try to open up my eyes to their struggles.  I can learn to ask the questions and enter into a conversation to get a different perspective.  

I've done it time and again...spouted off my opinion, based on "my" view, without really considering how someone else may be feeling about the same situation.  How something is effecting them.  However, if we think about it, don't we have more compassion for someone that has gone through a similar situation, let's say, the death of their grand parent.  We can relate.  We have some knowledge of what they are feeling.  I want to attempt to think about another's "perspective" before forming my biased opinion and SHARING it.  It's a struggle...sometimes it's out there before I take a breath.  OR, worse yet, before I've even really thought about the situation.  I'm really trying to do better.

Crossing the Great Divide...I've started the process and I know I have someone that I can go to to chat with on this subject.  He honored my "lack of knowledge" by respecting me and understanding my naivety.  I started the conversation with an upfront apology.  Asking him to understand I was not coming from a place of intentional disrespect or hurtfulness.  Really, I was coming from a place of ignorance...on the subject.  

In my next post on this subject, I'll write about his comment, "
“No conversation starts at an argument, it escalates to aggression.”  It again, opened my eyes to how "things" get started.  With our friends, our spouse and especially our children.  Stay tuned.  

Please leave a comment here...I'd appreciate your thoughts.  Feel free to share with your friends, as well. #disparateimpact #disparatetreatment #racialdiscord #blackmansfight #racerelations #conversationswithablackman #crossingthegreatdivide

Sunday, May 3, 2015

It's springtime and the living is easy

The grass is green, the flowers are blooming and the trees are budding out.  Lilacs scent the air and in vases in my home.  It's just a special time of the year...don't you think? #lilacs#flowers#spring#specialtimeoftheyear

Our neighbors across the road from us are enjoying new babies.  Goats, sheep, and kittens.  They share their photos on Facebook, and it really does bring a smile to my face.  Not much sweeter than new babies dotting the countryside.